In the distance, I see a darker light.It's not always rainbows.

life's been whoozing past and whoa,we're all gonna be celebrating chinese new year.many times i wanna update but seeing post after post although there's only 3,they're still of the same genre which makes it sickening to read.but then again,after all this is a bloody pessimistic procrastinating corner.besides no one actually comes except me.its nice actually to have this,i should done this long ago cause it feels magnificent penning down my thoughts which noone i have in mind will bother about the content here.what an online diary.
basically,i'm still feeling sore about the retaining issue.presently,i'm just ensued by a really sour feeling.no wonder i have a sweet tooth to counter it.a part of me wanna be with my batch so that i'm on the normal route of the right education.though its the at the end of the day which matters so the time period in learning matters relatively lesser.but i still care.i wanna graduate normally,like in primary school there's EM1,EM2 &EM3.secondary school there 's special,express,normal academic,normal technical.i don't ask for myself to be plain jane,and neither do i wanna be extraordinary superman.i just wanna lead my life normally,not be outta line of the standard route i chose.if i choose jc life,i should only take 2 years,but why am i taking 3 instead?i don't deny i'm stupid and slow/slower than others,but i guess all these just boils down to laziness.yes yes,i agree too.there's no stupid people on earth,except those who have an incapable ability,only lazy ones.i really wonder and eager to see myself in the working society.of course i've taken in the fact i'll be working under people(like isn't such fate sealed the moment there are the existence of gifted kids of tomorrow-IP,scholars etc).i mean in the working world,such scenarios are inevitable,however much that i deceived myself that its Not alright to be taking 1 additional year,but at the end of the day,maybe i'll live off better.i'm uncertain about that.what i'm definite is that i need to start cracking and work hard.yes,work harder than before cause this is my only chance to alter my destiny for the better.i don't wanna suffer for the rest of my life.i want a non-crappy job and obviously i hate to depend on marriage.my gosh...so now,how well the current graduating batch of 2009 will serve as a gauge on how i will fare should i choose to be with them.i know i'm mean but i'm seriously anticipating eagerly.but let's not be too merry over this evil thought.start cracking to work!its time to move on better instead of dawdling on the dumb setback.come on!